Drink Me Away
by cocoa.11
Summary: *After Endgame, but Far From Home never happened* 3 months have passed since the Avengers beat Thanos and ever since then I have been trying to get back to my normal. Being basically dead and tormented in the soul stone for 5 years kinda makes that hard, but I am fine. I am Spider-Man, so I am fine...Right?


This story has Endgame spoilers if you _STILL_ haven't watched the movie… no Far From Home spoilers so you're good there.

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Tony survives the second snap and is just trying to relax, but Peter is struggling with coming back and finding his normalcy. Also, Morgan was never born. Nothing against her, but she isn't a part of this story. Love her to death in the movie though!

* * *

It's been 3 months since the Avengers defeated Thanos and brought back everyone that vanished in the snap. Including me.

It's been hard adjusting back to normal life from the snap, especially since it seems I am the only one to remember what happened. I remember how all my hope fizzled away as I felt myself being torn apart piece by piece into dust. The blackness was suffocating and no one was there with me. I was all alone and scared. For 5 years. It took 5 years for the remainder of the team to find and defeat Thanos and bring everyone that was lost from the snap. Yet, it felt like an eternity of being alone and fading.

Adjusting back to normal has been a challenge. But it has for everyone, so I haven't tried to bother anyone about my problem because everyone has them. I've dealt with the flashbacks and nightmares because that's normal. Well normal if you were snapped out of existence for about 5 years.

I've resumed my duties as the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and have been staying as the nerdy Peter Parker at school. So everything is fine. I am back to my normal self. No need for anyone to worry.

I am fine.

* * *

I am not fine.

Nothing is fine. I was literally snapped out of existence for 5 freaking years.

I am not fine.

Ever since I've been back I've been traumatized with flashbacks that are too real. Nightmares that keep me up for days because I can't go through it again. Panic attacks when someone's says something wrong and especially when someone snaps their finger at me.

I am not fine.

Aunt May is getting suspicious. She can obviously tell I'm not sleeping, and how I tremble when news reports about the snap are on t.v. She has seen me have a panic attack and calmed me down. Therapy has been brought up multiple times, which doesn't logically sound like a bad idea because there is something messed up in my head. But I do not want that. I am Spider-Man! I am supposed to be strong, I'll get over this.

I am fine.

This is normal, I am normal. It just needs to run its course. It'll go away.

I am fine.

* * *

Tony Stark

When my phone went off at 2 A.M, I was quite annoyed. For the first time in ages I had actually been asleep without any nightmares. Uninterrupted sleep was uncommon these days. There was always something in my dreams that awoke me in a cold sweat and shaking and unable to go back to sleep.

"This better be good kid, I was sleeping pretty well," my voice was still rough from being just woke up.

I reached and turned on the lamp beside the bed and waited for Peter to answer. A loud bass resonated through the phone and voices talked loudly.

Peter still had not responded, "Peter? You there?"

The sound of his name must have reminded Peter that he was on the phone because he responded not a second later. His words muddled together and were almost incoherent, "Heyyyyy Mr. Starkkk, how you doing tonight?"

Laughter filled the phone and I had to take it away from my ear. Sitting the phone on the silk sheets and putting it on speaker I began to get up and find clothing. Obviously, Peter was drunk or something and now I was going to have to find him and bring him back to the tower.

"Peter where are you."

Peter hummed on the other side of the line, "A party."

I slapped a hand to my face, "Yes kid, but where at. What is the address?"

I didn't need an address. FRIDAY was already getting his location as we talked, but the kid needed to keep talking.

"I don't know!" Peter cackled, "Why did you call me?"

"Pete you're the one who called me," I was already making my way to the top of the tower, "Why are you at a party?"

"Oh ya know hanging with some friendssss Mr. Stark no need to worry bout me I am spider mannn!"

_How drunk is he right now?_

"Pete go sit down outside I'm coming for you" FRIDAY went to work quick and had directions to Peter as I activated my suit.

"Okay Mr. Stark sirrr," The loud noises vanished and crickets were heard in the background now, "I'm outside, it's kinda cold out here kinda like when I was gone man,"

"Well I'll be there in a couple minutes so just sit tight."

_What did he mean when he was gone? Does he mean when Thanos turned them into dust?_

I shuddered at the thought of Thanos. He took so much away from everyone. I'd lost the kid and that was terrible, I wasn't able to save him and he was gone for 5 years. During that time, I tried to think of so many way to help get him back but I had no idea how to. It wasn't until Scott Lang appeared and started talking about time travel to when I'd finally gotten an idea. We'd successfully brought back everyone and gotten rid of Thanos.

"Kid what are you talking about?" I could see the house Peter was at in the distance according to FRIDAY, so I began to go faster.

"Just when I was gone… that was bad like… really bad" Peters breathes came out in quick huffs, "Mr. stark I don't feel so good."

My blood ran cold. That's what he told me before turning to dust right before my eyes after the snap.

"Peter just calm down I'm almost there, nothing bads going to happen to you okay?"

No response was heard, just Peters heavy breathing.

I landed at the house and immediately found Peter laying on the ground curled up in a ball with his hands gripping his hair. He was muttering something but it was incoherent. My suit melted away as I sat down beside him and brought him up to me. He was lighter than normal, more scrawny.

"Hey Peter look at me okay," Peters eyes stayed screwed shut, "Come on kid, Thanos is gone remember you're back now."

Peter immediately stiffened, his whole body scarily stiff. It took a moment before I realized he wasn't breathing.

"Peter! Come on breathe!" I shook him roughly and then he began to breathe big gulps of air.

"I don't wanna go, I don't wanna be here anymore," Peter whimpered.

Now that he was breathing I grabbed him and activated the suit again before flying off.

Something is wrong with my kid, and it has something to do with him drinking.

* * *

Peter Parker

I was alone again. Darkness everywhere. My thoughts were on overdrive and were too loud triggering my sensitive hearing. My head pounded and was muddled. I felt like I was being torn apart piece by piece. I was being turned into dust again and again.

No one is here to help me. I am alone. Again.

_Peter._

Oh great. I'm hallucinating again.

_Peter?_

That was Mr. Stark's voice. I failed him. I should've listened but I didn't. I failed.

_Peter, wake up!_

I snap my eyes open and gasp. The lights. Too bright, too much on my senses. My head throbs and I let a groan escape my lips.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. turn the lights down."

Immediately after that the throb in my skull settles to a dull ache. I groan again and open my eyes to find Mr. Stark sitting beside me in a chair. I look around and find myself in a bed.

What happened?

"I would like to know that too kiddo."

I turn to Mr. Stark. Had I said that out loud?

"Um hey," I say lamely offering a smile.

Mr. Stark does not return it. He just stares at me a look of disappointment yet concern present on his face, "Peter, why were you at a party drinking last night?"

Oh right. I was at a party. In all honesty, I didn't want to go. The only reason I did was because Ned wanted to go, but not by himself. I planned on staying in the corner by myself and playing candy crush on my phone to pass the time. Then, Flash started to taunt me for being a chicken and not doing anything and so I found myself taking countless of vodka shots until I couldn't think properly. It's not like I didn't deserve it. I did. I had been through so much shit, and the thought of forgetting for a while sounded appealing.

"Hey, Earth to Peter," Mr. Stark waved a hand in front of my face, "Gonna answer my question?"

I rub the back of my neck nervously, "It's stupid really, I can go back home now Mr. Stark."

Mr. Stark gave me a pointed look. Clearly I wasn't going to get out of this one.

"Well, I thought that maybe I could go relax with Ned at a party and i ended up taking a few shots?" I glance at Mr. Stark and see he doesn't believe what I said.

I fidget nervously with the blanket covering me, "Fine, I went to the party because Ned wanted to, and some guy was saying stuff about me being a buzz kill, so I took a couple shots and then I started to feel better and I kept drinking till… well I guess until you picked me up apparently. It got a little fuzzy at the end and I don't exactly remember-"

"Peter stop." Mr. Stark cut me off and ran a hand over his face, "You know better than to listen to some jerk trying to make you do something you shouldn't."

He looked to me before continuing, "And drinking? Seriously Peter what were you thinking! If you messed up and accidentally jumped on the ceiling how would you have explained that? Or what if something bad happened and you needed to run away! You would've been too intoxicated to do anything; you'd just end up hurting yourself!"

Mr. Stark took a breath and sunk back into his seat. All of his worry lines were prominent.

"Mr. Stark, I'm sorry," I say and he glanced up to me, "I just… it was nice for a while… even if you don't approve."

He looked confused on what i meant so i kept going, "Nice to forget I mean…"

"Forget what Peter? That you're Spider-man? That you had 3 test next week or that you're failing Spanish!"

"No Mr. Stark, I just mean-"

"Mean what Peter!" Mr. Stark quickly rose to his feet interrupting me once again and i could feel my temper rising, "Forget about what! You have nothing wrong for you to be lashing out by flunking classes, ignoring everyone, and fucking drinking! There has to be better than 'I'm sorry i just wanted to forget' Peter! It has to be."

I take even breaths. Calm down, calm down, calm down. He doesn't know or understand.

"For the love of God Peter," Mr. Stark shakes his head before yelling, "AT LEAST SAY SOMETHING!"

As soon as he finished his statement I felt my anger rise to a point barely containable. I am taking deep breaths.

_He doesn't even understand what I've been through._

_And he yells at me for drinking? He should look at himself before judging others. Drunken playboy Tony fucking Stark._

I glare at him and see him open his mouth, but before he has a chance to speak i beat him to it. My voice is scarily calm and quiet, but it held a dangerous undertone.

"You do not understand what _I have been through_."

I throw the blankets off and roll of the bed. My chest is on fire needing to release the burning hot rage that I have carefully kept at bay now seething at the surface and needing release. I walk to where I am standing in front of Mr. Stark and I let the rage loose.

"I am fucking tired. My parents-dead. I didn't even get to know them basically. My uncle Ben- dead. I couldn't _fucking _save him after being bitten by a radioactive spider. Which hurt like shit by the way. I never even asked for this, but it was thrust upon me. Then, you found me and recruited me to go fight in some Avengers civil war. After that you basically ignore me until I'm drowning in a lake and you just send one of your robots to save me. I got crushed by a fucking building because you didn't listen to me about Vulture. Then even after all that I still fucking stood by you when Thanos came. And- and I died."

I stop to take a quick breath but continue.

"I felt every particle of by body turning into ashes. I was getting ripped apart. And nothing I could do would stop it." I take a shaky hand to my head and walk back to the bed.

"When I was in the soul stone, I kept getting torn apart piece by fucking piece into ashes. I saw my uncle die over and over again. I relived the day when Aunt May and Ben told me that I was going to stay with them for a long time. I relived all of their funerals. I got crushed by a building so many times in there. I was _drowning_."

I look up to Mr. Stark and his face is a mixture of emotions. Hurt, sad, concern, and pity. He was two shades lighter than normal.

"So, yea Mr. Stark." I sit back down, mad at myself for how shaky my voice had become, "I drank some and it felt good to forget all of that shit."

I kept my head down. I couldn't look at the man in front of me; I'd either break down crying or end up yelling at him again.

"Peter… how do you remember all of that? How do you remember being in the soul stone?"

That's all he is worried about? How I remember the soul stone when no one else could? Why doesn't he worry about how I am? Why doesn't he ask how I am?

"Pete, talk to me."

I glare up at Mr. Stark. His face looks concerned, but he isn't concerned about how I am, just about what I know. Typical Tony Stark.

"If I knew don't you think I would've said something by now?" I keep my gaze fixated on him.

"I just wanted to forget...everything shitty that happened to me for one night." I grab my hair and put my head down, "One night."

I felt Mr. Stark suddenly sit beside me and he awkwardly wrapped an arm around me. He smelled like coffee and grease. Typical. Instead of it being repulsing it was welcoming. It welcomed me to let everything out.

I turned my body to where my head laid on his chest and a few tears came out against my will. I quickly wiped them away, not wanting the man to notice. I should've known better. Tony Stark was smart and he was observant. As soon as he felt the first tear he pulled me closer and rubbed comforting circles on my back.

"It's okay Peter," he hugged me tighter, "Let it out, it's okay."

The damn broke. A sob escaped my lips and as much as I tried to hold them back they kept coming. Stronger every time until I let go. Tears streamed freely down my cheeks onto the grease stained shirt.

_Dust. Dust. Dust._

_Piece by piece. Skin breaking apart._

_Losing my parents over and over again. _

_You're gonna stay with me and Uncle Ben for a while Peter…_

_Radioactive spider bite._

_Uncle Ben lying on the street bleeding out; unable to save him. _

_Drowning over and over again._

_Crushed by a building again and again._

_Constantly in fear. Panic attacks...Nightmares._

"It hurts Tony," I gasp in between sobs, "It hurts so damn much."

"I know Pete, I know," Tony grabs my shoulders and pulls me away so we are eye level to one another, "You have me. I will always be here for you."

My heart is aching. It feels so heavy after crying. Meeting Mr. Starks gaze and holding it seems impossible, but he holds a hand under my chin so I can't look away. I can tell he is being truthful by the caring look in his eyes.

"Okay." I say.

He throws out a lopsided grin followed by a small chuckle, "Okay? For real kid?"

Despite the pain and sorrow in my heart a smile comes forth on my face. Not a bright and energetic one that the man is used to, but one that shows my pain and need for comfort. It shows all the broken pieces within that haven't been close to being put back together. Yet, I am willing to try.

Mr. Stark lets out a sigh of relief, "C'mere underoos."

He pulls me back into a hug and I do not try to push it away. I melt into the embrace and feel safe for the first time in a long time. The road to recovery will be long, hard, and scary, but I know that Tony Stark is on my side. And there is nothing thus man cannot fix.

"Thanks Mr. Stark." I wrap my arms around as well and relax into the embrace.

For the first time since I have been back, I am hopeful.

* * *

There ya go! Had this little idea and needed to let it be free because I am STILL not over Endgame. Tony Stark can't be dead. No way. So yea happily ever after lol, Tony's still alive and so is Peter… even though he does have some PTSD, but who wouldn't after being snapped out of existence by a big purple grape?

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this little one-shot.


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